Just kidding. Please don’t quit your job based on the title of this post. Except I seriously did quit my job. The place I’ve worked for the past 6 years. Without another job lined up, or even the intention to find another one right away.

“But Tessa, that sounds like a terrible idea. Why would you do that? Did you think this through? But what about this thing, and this other thing, and all these other things you definitely have not thought of? Aren’t you glad I am here to ask all these questions and put some sense into your head?”

Well thank you for your concern, dear reader! But that’s the exact point of this post – to tell you why I quit my job.

I was told I’d hate it.

In my final year of university I had a Human Resources option that involved doing various skills, personality, and interests tests. After taking the tests near the end of the semester, we had to meet with one of the university’s career advisers. I don’t really remember much about the tests, or the meeting, but I do remember a few things she told me:

You will not do well in an office environment.

You are not going to like any of the work a business grad will do.

You are going to be unhappy.

Great! This is perfect. This is exactly what I want to hear after spending 4 years and thousands of dollars on a business degree.

Honestly, this did plant a seed of doubt in my mind. I was worried about what I would do after graduating. I was concerned about all the effort I might have wasted over the years. I was a little bit angry at my dad for pushing me to go into business, and myself for listening.

But I thought “screw you, adviser lady! I am going to make my way into the business-world and office-environment and I am going to love it and SUCCEED!”

….oops.

I was consistently pigeonholed.

I’ve had a few different roles in the company I worked at; I stayed in the first one for just under 3 years before moving to a completely different role in a different department.

And you know what happened? After 3 months in my shiny new job, there was a major reorganization and the company put me right back in the role I had left.

But I saw the positives of this placement – a different area of the company (although same duties and work function), different leaders, a time to learn.

Just kidding! After a few more months there was another reorganization, and I was put in a different area where I was expected to perform the same function with no team and a manager that had no clue what I did (and made no attempt to understand it either).

On the plus side, I got to essentially be my own boss – call the shots, implement my own changes and improvements, and work directly with a Vice President I ended up loving.

But despite my desire to do something different, I was made to feel like the company only valued me for one thing, and that they were actively blocking my attempts to change roles and develop myself professionally. It led to a lot of anger and resentment that only festered over the years before I quit.

I lost faith in the company.

It’s hard to be satisfied and take pride in what you do when your company makes you feel like poop. But I am just a lowly worker bee, so as long as I believe in what my company as a whole does, I should feel like I’m contributing to something… right?

But what if you don’t really care about what your company does?

What if you feel like the values your company portrays externally don’t actually align with the way your company operates internally?

What if you work in an industry with a lot of social and political scrutiny, so you actively avoid telling people where you work?

I stopped believing in the work my company was doing, which lead to the constant nagging feeling that I was wasting my time. This brings me to my next point.

I met with a career counselor.

I am the type of person who needs to mostly enjoy what I do for work, seeing as it’s the thing I do for most of my waking life. I have a relationship, hobbies, goals, pets, and friends – all that lovely stuff that makes life worth living. But the never ending feeling that the majority of what you’re doing is a waste of time is VERY draining. I am not one of those people that can go to work every day at a job I hate and be perfectly fine when I get home. No – I get home and I have no energy for anything: I barely smile, I can barely eat, you can completely forget about any social activities during the week.

I decided to take matters into my own hands and meet with a licensed psychologist and career counselor to determine a path forward.

Over an 8ish week period I met with a wonderful woman who took the time to talk with me and learn about me as a person; she created a comprehensive career report based on multiple tests I took with her and the discussions we had during the sessions.

Surprise! My job current job didn’t match with my values, interests, or where I wanted my life to go! While she didn’t outright tell me to quit my job, that is the definite feeling I got.

I did walk away with a better understanding of what will challenge me and keep me interested in a future career, as well as some suggestions on careers to pursue. It was an extremely valuable exercise and I recommend her to my friends with job difficulties.

I was unhappy.

If you’re like me, you Google absolutely every single question you have.

So I obviously Googled “how do I know when I should leave my job?” and thanks to Reddit I found my enlightenment:

When you hope you get into a non-fatal but serious enough car accident on the way to work so you have an excuse to not go there for a few days, maybe a whole week.

This was how I felt. Every. Single. Morning.

Whenever I got sick – be it the flu, food poisoning, whatever – I was SO THANKFUL for it. That is NOT the way someone should feel. Work should NOT make you thankful you feel like you’re dying; work should not make you thankful you can’t eat or move or sleep or function at all.

Work affected me physically, mentally, and emotionally. I would get phantom pains and illnesses – ever been on the verge of vomiting, absolutely convinced it was something you ate, only to feel 100% fine the moment you step out of the office? I don’t get it. My frustrations at work started to transfer to my personal life, making me bitter, antisocial, and angry the majority of the time. I feel bad for my boyfriend having to live with someone like that.

So… what now?

Well, I mean I am still working at the job. My final day isn’t for a couple more weeks.

BUT AFTER THAT?! WHO KNOWS! The world is my oyster or any other type of saltwater bivalve mollusc, really.

I do know that I have a lot of projects I want to work on around the house – DIYs, cleaning, organizing, etc. I will also have more time to focus on my hobbies, spend with loved ones, and generally take time to get myself into a decent mental place.

STAY TUNED.