I haven’t really gotten up to much excitement the past week – I did start beach volleyball but don’t have enough to write a whole post about – so I want to share my best and worst experiences with being hit on by strangers (because it’s funny).
The Best: On the train platform
I was waiting for my train after work one day, when a man in what I think was his 50s randomly walked up to me and said “I’m sorry, I have to stop and say something, but I just got lost in your eyes as I was walking by.” I was obviously shocked and also flattered – mostly shocked because the guy was a good 6 inches shorter than me and in my experience men aren’t usually interested in women taller than them.
He asked if anyone has told me that I’m beautiful today. I kinda smiled and shook my head (because I very rarely get told I’m beautiful). He told me that I deserve to hear that, and actually SAID he was not interested in getting my number or anything, but just wanted to compliment me. When does that ever happen? Usually random dudes are relatively creepy and just want to get a number or a date or something.
He went on to make small talk, asking what I did for a living and how the industry was doing.
As a train was approaching he asked if he had made me smile and feel good about myself, I laughed and told him yeah, he had. He gave me a friendly pat on the shoulder and said “see you around!” as he ran to get on the train.
It was definitely a positive experience – random compliments in a very non-creepy way can be a good thing! I definitely felt a bit… happier? better? more confident? after the interaction.
The only downside was the train he ran to get on was also the train I was taking, and my tall-ass self couldn’t get a spot on the train but he was able to squish on easily… So I had to wait for the next one.
The Worst: Walking home
I was walking home after work in the middle of winter on a VERY cold day. I was wearing my parka and had my hood up, so my hearing was a bit muffled from the insulation.
I was crossing the street to cut through this group of town homes on the way to my house when I heard someone yell “HEY YOU” or something. If you’re a woman (and I’m sure some men experience this as well) you have probably been cat called/hollered at/verbally harassed by a stranger some time in your life, so this is exactly what I thought was happening. I usually find it best to ignore the person and keep walking, so that’s what I did. Also I didn’t know for sure if someone was yelling at ME so there was really no reason to stop or turn around.
When I got to this alley connected to a pathway I walk on every day, some guy walking up the pathway said “oh you took a short cut”…. shit. I WAS being yelled at.
I turned around and the first thing he asks me is “are you going home?”. What kind of question is that to ask a random girl? I felt extremely uncomfortable and know better than to tell strangers anything about where I live, so I just said yes. He continued to probe me about where I lived and I just told him “that way” as I pointed in a direction NOT where I live (but also kind of the way I was going, in case he decided to try to follow me home I could use an alternate route).
He said he lived in the house we were standing next to…. double shit. I walk by that house every day. It’s only 2-3 blocks from where I live.
THEN he asked for my number! What? What on EARTH makes you think that HOLLERING at a stranger, confronting her in an ALLEY, and trying to find out where she lives is a good lead up to asking for her number????? My god.
I told him no because I have a boyfriend… who I live with. He said “oh I just live with a roommate” and I quickly ended the conversation and said “okay have a nice day!” and walked away.
I was SO creeped out. But, luckily, I have never seen him again and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t live there any more because I’ve only ever seen a man & woman with a baby in that house. PHEW.
The Worst Runner Up: Walking with children
This one deserves mentioning because it pissed me off SO much.
I went to my friend Jen’s house to hang out with her one day a couple weeks ago – she is currently on maternity leave with her second son so she’s bored a lot.
It was a nice day out, so we decided to load up the baby in the double stroller and walk 10-15 minutes to the day home her older son was at and pick him up. As we were heading out the door I made a comment about how maybe people will think we are a couple because her kids match us (she is Chinese, her husband and I are Caucasian).
She lives in an inner city neighbourhood with a lot of cyclists around, and almost every person that rode by on a bike either did a double take at us pushing the stroller or hardcore STARED the entire time. I’m not exaggerating. I even said something to Jen about the amount of people looking at us…. because really??? It’s 2018 man.
After we picked up the older son, we made our way back to her house while pushing both the kids in the stroller. In that 10-15 minute trek home we were hollered at TWICE by people driving by. IN FRONT OF HER KIDS. I was fuming. She said that has never happened to her before and she had no idea what was going on.
Either I have terrible luck with people harassing me or the people near her neighbourhood think it’s funny to yell at moms with their kids.